Jamie Winship’s Identity Exchange process has been an incredibly powerful process that’s been effective in gatherings of every type. Speaking to over 600 D-1 colleges coaches and staff at last years Final 4 he had a room full of Alpha males opening up about their commonality of underlying fears and effect of long held false beliefs about self, others and God. I’ve experienced it in 1-1 settings and small groups. The listening prayer serves to normalize a life of prayer as opposed to a life with daily quiet time and prayer,
This is excellent material, Kevin; I appreciate it. Christ became the table, so we must be cautious about the tables we choose to join. Jesus offers a path for us as men to cultivate healthier relationships we steward. Thank you for the thoughtful writing.
Thank you so much, Pastor Kevin, for sharing this. This is very profound and speaks to something I have been thinking about for a long time: Why are so many men not being reached? Why are men being left behind?
We have conferences, programs, and revival meetings for women, youth children and many others, but how often do we stop and ask, “How do we bring men back also? Who is going to sit with them, walk with them, listen to them, and build a relationship with them?”
Sometimes men don’t need to be questioned; they need someone willing to walk with them. They need someone who will go first, share their own story, be vulnerable, and create a safe place where another man can say, “This is what I am going through,” without fear of being judged.
We see this pattern throughout Scripture. Men became stronger through walking together, friendship, correction, encouragement, and shared mission. Think about Elijah and Elisha. Elisha did not simply attend Elijah’s meetings; he followed him, walked with him, served alongside him, and learned through relationship (1 Kings 19:19–21; 2 Kings 2:1–15).
David and Jonathan also show us the power of genuine brotherhood. Scripture says, “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1).
Paul told Timothy, “I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith” (2 Timothy 1:4–5). This is discipleship through relationship, not simply through a program.
And Jesus Himself modeled this. He called the disciples to “be with him” before sending them out (Mark 3:14). He did not only teach them from a distance; He walked with them, ate with them, corrected them, encouraged them, and shared life with them.
Men may not always be easy to reach, but perhaps the answer is not to blame them for being closed. Maybe we need to love them, pursue them, walk with them, and stay committed to them.
The Bible says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
I believe we need to recover this kind of brotherhood—men walking with men, sharing life, carrying one another’s burdens, challenging one another, praying together, and pursuing Christ together.
Men also need conference, events, meetings and prayer and relationships. They need brothers who will walk with them.
Thank you for reminding us of this important truth, Pastor Kevin.
Thank you for the mention and for pointing back to your book and resources, Kevin! This concept of "going first" and recognizing a person's level of readiness/openness is such a crucial dynamic in building genuine trust and discipling effectively. Appreciate the practical wisdom and encouragement as always!
There’s also a couple of chapters in my book about this if you’re interested, you can find it at myhandtotheplow.com. You can use the discount code.SUBSTACK for discount. Blessings again!
That’s a great question, wise fool! We use a tool for diagnosing, a person’s spiritual, openness, and disciple-ability. There’s definitely a time where you stop engaging in order to give your time and energy to someone else who is hungry. That doesn’t mean you’re giving up on someone or rejecting someone, you’re just simply waiting on the Holy Spirit to get them to a point where they are ready to be discipled. I actually have an article on this that came out a few weeks ago. I’ll post the link here and it has a link inside it to the tool and a description of different levels of readiness. Blessings to you! Let’s keep our hand to the plow.
Jamie Winship’s Identity Exchange process has been an incredibly powerful process that’s been effective in gatherings of every type. Speaking to over 600 D-1 colleges coaches and staff at last years Final 4 he had a room full of Alpha males opening up about their commonality of underlying fears and effect of long held false beliefs about self, others and God. I’ve experienced it in 1-1 settings and small groups. The listening prayer serves to normalize a life of prayer as opposed to a life with daily quiet time and prayer,
Love it, Howard! Thanks for sharing.
This is excellent material, Kevin; I appreciate it. Christ became the table, so we must be cautious about the tables we choose to join. Jesus offers a path for us as men to cultivate healthier relationships we steward. Thank you for the thoughtful writing.
Yes! Love it, Lazarus! Blessings.
Well written! Full of much needed, practical truths, advice, and suggestions.
Thank you, Lucas. Blessings to you, brother!
Thank you so much, Pastor Kevin, for sharing this. This is very profound and speaks to something I have been thinking about for a long time: Why are so many men not being reached? Why are men being left behind?
We have conferences, programs, and revival meetings for women, youth children and many others, but how often do we stop and ask, “How do we bring men back also? Who is going to sit with them, walk with them, listen to them, and build a relationship with them?”
Sometimes men don’t need to be questioned; they need someone willing to walk with them. They need someone who will go first, share their own story, be vulnerable, and create a safe place where another man can say, “This is what I am going through,” without fear of being judged.
We see this pattern throughout Scripture. Men became stronger through walking together, friendship, correction, encouragement, and shared mission. Think about Elijah and Elisha. Elisha did not simply attend Elijah’s meetings; he followed him, walked with him, served alongside him, and learned through relationship (1 Kings 19:19–21; 2 Kings 2:1–15).
David and Jonathan also show us the power of genuine brotherhood. Scripture says, “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1).
Paul told Timothy, “I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith” (2 Timothy 1:4–5). This is discipleship through relationship, not simply through a program.
And Jesus Himself modeled this. He called the disciples to “be with him” before sending them out (Mark 3:14). He did not only teach them from a distance; He walked with them, ate with them, corrected them, encouraged them, and shared life with them.
Men may not always be easy to reach, but perhaps the answer is not to blame them for being closed. Maybe we need to love them, pursue them, walk with them, and stay committed to them.
The Bible says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
I believe we need to recover this kind of brotherhood—men walking with men, sharing life, carrying one another’s burdens, challenging one another, praying together, and pursuing Christ together.
Men also need conference, events, meetings and prayer and relationships. They need brothers who will walk with them.
Thank you for reminding us of this important truth, Pastor Kevin.
Thank you for the mention and for pointing back to your book and resources, Kevin! This concept of "going first" and recognizing a person's level of readiness/openness is such a crucial dynamic in building genuine trust and discipling effectively. Appreciate the practical wisdom and encouragement as always!
I will never stop
Hey George! I wouldn’t either, of course, it just goes back yo where we start, not where we end. Going first is the key. Blessings, brother!
At what point does that man do the same? Or when do you move on from those relationships? I guess the heart is what is the best way to multiply?
There’s also a couple of chapters in my book about this if you’re interested, you can find it at myhandtotheplow.com. You can use the discount code.SUBSTACK for discount. Blessings again!
https://kevinebeasley.substack.com/p/how-to-make-a-disciple
That’s a great question, wise fool! We use a tool for diagnosing, a person’s spiritual, openness, and disciple-ability. There’s definitely a time where you stop engaging in order to give your time and energy to someone else who is hungry. That doesn’t mean you’re giving up on someone or rejecting someone, you’re just simply waiting on the Holy Spirit to get them to a point where they are ready to be discipled. I actually have an article on this that came out a few weeks ago. I’ll post the link here and it has a link inside it to the tool and a description of different levels of readiness. Blessings to you! Let’s keep our hand to the plow.