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Kevin Beasley - Co-host, Kingdom Effect Podcast & Discipleship Network Leader
🌐 Website: kevinebeasley.com
Glenn “Buckshot” Buckley - Co-host & Former Law Enforcement (Sex Trafficking Unit)
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/rambler113.6
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Show Notes
Your son is slipping away, and you both know it.
He’s in his room playing Call of Duty. You’re downstairs scrolling through your phone. You live in the same house but exist in different worlds. Every attempt at conversation feels forced. Every invitation gets rejected. You’re doing everything the parenting books say, but nothing’s working.
In this raw and transformative episode, Kevin Beasley and Glenn “Buckshot” Buckley share the behind-the-scenes story of a father-son rite-of-passage trip that changed everything. Five dads, their teenage sons, 14 brutal miles of trail, tracker knives, campfire conversations, and a ceremony that shifted relationships overnight.
This isn’t a parenting seminar. It’s a field report from men who discovered that the bonding you’ve been desperately trying to force at home happens naturally when you remove comfort, add challenge, and create space for your son to become a man.
🎯 What You’ll Discover:
The Ancient Strategy Modern Dads Are Missing
Why cultures around the world have rite of passage ceremonies—and what we lost when America abandoned them
The concept of “liminal experience” and how it creates bonds deeper than ordinary community
Why World War II veterans could lock eyes across a room 50 years later and communicate without words
What Happened on The Fiery Gizzard Trail (And Why It Worked)
The 14.2-mile hike that kicked everyone’s tail—and why that was precisely the point
How one stepson who refused every previous invitation suddenly said “yes”
The Friday night campfire ceremony where dads spoke life over their sons
Why they gave the knives before the trail instead of after (and why timing matters)
The Separation Principle That Changes Everything
Why cell phones destroy the bonding process (and what happens when you can’t check in)
The “Day 4 phenomenon” from Alaska wilderness trips—when guys finally see clearly
How white space (like a shower) forces your brain to create instead of consume
Why forcing conversations at home never works but they flow naturally on the trail
The Father Wound We’re All Carrying
The Baby Boomer parenting style: “Hand me the wrench” vs. “Let me show you how”
Why our dads were equipped to work hard but not to emotionally connect
The modern attack on masculinity that’s creating passive men
How to break generational cycles without dishonoring your father
💡 Game-Changing Insights:
“There’s nothing my boys love more than beating their daddy. I don’t let them win. But when they beat me, oh my gosh, they’re so proud of it.” - The power of competition in answering a boy’s core question: “Do I have what it takes?”
“We had to be really intentional... I invited my stepson’s father on this trip because this is something reserved for him.” - How to navigate blended families without overstepping sacred boundaries
“My advice would be: get away. Get away from the distractions. Don’t try to force it. Just go and hang out. It’ll come naturally.” - Why proximity plus challenge equals breakthrough
“The most glaring question a boy asks is: Do I have what it takes?” - John Eldredge’s insight that every father must answer through experience, not words
“Since then, I can definitely tell a different relationship with the boys. They’re opening up to me more, looking to me for guidance.” - The tangible shift that happens post-rite of passage
🚨 Signs Your Son Desperately Needs This Experience:
✅ He’s retreating to his room more and more
✅ Conversations feel forced and one-sided
✅ He rejects your invitations to spend time together
✅ You live in the same house but feel like strangers
✅ He’s glued to screens and disconnected from real life
✅ You don’t know what’s going on in his heart
✅ He’s a teenager and you haven’t marked his transition to manhood
✅ You were never taught how to be a father yourself
🔥 The Breakthrough Moment:
“I asked him to go on multiple trips and he never would go. I didn’t want to go. So I was actually shocked—I asked him this time out of habit and he said yeah. Since then, it’s completely different. We’re not best buds, but we have a different relationship than we had prior to the trip, for sure.”
This wasn’t therapy. It wasn’t a program. It wasn’t forced vulnerability. It was five dads taking their sons into the woods, speaking life over them, handing them knives as symbols of manhood, and walking through hell together. And on the other side? Everything changed.
🎒 The Three-Part Formula for Bonding With Your Son:
1. Engage What They Love
See what your son is passionate about—even if it’s video games or something you don’t care about—and join him there. Buy the expensive camera. Tear down the beater car together. Play Fortnite even though you’re terrible at it.
2. Invite Them Into What You Love
Don’t just support their interests—bring them into yours. Take them to serve trafficking survivors. Teach them to hunt, fish, build fires. Show them your world, even if they’re not immediately passionate about it.
3. Compete With Them (And Actually Try to Win)
Ping-pong. Chess. Video games. Hiking. Whatever it is—compete hard. When they finally beat you, they’ll know they truly earned it. And they’ll know they have what it takes.
🏕️ Practical Tips for Creating Your Own Rite of Passage:
The Challenge: Pick something physically demanding that pushes everyone out of their comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be a 14-mile hike—just something that requires grit.
The Separation: No cell phones. No checking in. No ties to the outside world. The discomfort of disconnection is part of the transformation.
The Ceremony: Around a campfire (or similar setting), have each father speak life over their son—what you’re proud of and what you see in their future.
The Symbol: Give them something tangible to mark the moment. A knife, a watch, a ring—something they can look at and remember when they became a man.
The Timing: Early to mid-teens is ideal, but it’s never too late. Even adult sons can benefit from this kind of intentional marking.
💬 Honest Talk About Blended Families:
The Stepfather’s Dilemma:
“I have to be really intentional because I know what it feels like to have my children’s stepfather step in and do things that I feel are part of my responsibility.”
The Reality:
Respect the biological father’s place, even if he’s not active
Invite him into significant moments when possible
Don’t try to replace—become an additional source of strength
Be patient—bonding takes time and can’t be forced
Your stepson will likely never call you “Dad”—and that’s okay
The Hope:
Even stepfathers who start with zero connection can build meaningful relationships through intentional experiences like rite of passage trips.
🪓 The Tracker Knife Ceremony:
All the boys received matching tracker knives—worn horizontally, not vertically—as symbols of their transition into manhood. The knife represents:
Capability: You’re now equipped to handle adult challenges
Responsibility: Tools require wisdom and self-control
Identity: You’re no longer part of “the women’s community”—you’re a man among men
Memory: Every time you see it, remember this moment and what was spoken over you
🎯 Why This Works (The Science Behind It):
Communitas vs. Community:
When you go through physical struggle together, you create “communitas”—a bond one level deeper than ordinary community. This is what soldiers experience. This is what creates lifelong brotherhood.
Separation + Challenge + Ceremony = Transformation
It’s not magic. It’s ancient wisdom that modern culture forgot.
🏔️ What Happened After the Trail:
After 14.2 miles, 35,000 steps, and complete exhaustion, the dads and sons went to a honky-tonk bar/grill. Half-eaten burgers. Live music. Sore muscles. And something else—a different relationship.
Not dramatic. Not some Hollywood moment. Just... different.
The boys started opening up more. Looking to their dads for guidance. The stepson who never said yes started engaging. The competitive son who beat his dad on the trail walked a little taller.
This is what happens on the other side of challenge: freedom.
📢 If You’re a Dad Reading This:
You don’t need a perfect plan. You don’t need to be an expert outdoorsman. You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You just need to:
Pick a challenge
Remove the distractions
Show up with intention
Speak life over your son
Walk through it together
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Your son needs this now.
🔄 Buckshot’s Open Invitation:
Glenn is considering hosting 3-4 rite of passage experiences per year for dads who want to do this but don’t know how. If you’re interested in bringing your son to something like this—where an experienced guide facilitates the process—stay tuned to the Kingdom Effect community for updates.
Final Thought:
Your son is asking a question he may never verbalize: “Do I have what it takes?”
The world will answer that question for him—through social media, peer pressure, pornography, and culture’s confusion about masculinity.
Or you can answer it—through challenge, ceremony, and calling him into manhood.
The trail is waiting. What are you going to do?
Subscribe, rate, and review the Kingdom Effect Podcast on your favorite platform. Share this episode with a dad who needs to hear it. Join the Facebook community for ongoing conversations about faith, fatherhood, and stepping into what God’s calling you to do.
Kingdom Effect Podcast - Where we don’t shy away from the tough conversations. Season 2 is here, and we’re just getting started.
